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7. Now move on to the 2-nd tip and do the tharpanam 3 times on that tip. In this way, repeat this process for all 12 ancestors, i.e., on all 12 tips. 3 times per tip and a total of 12 tips would mean that you make a minimum of 36 tharpanam offerings for your pitru ancestors each time you do tharpanam.
8. Next, do karunya tharpanam for relatives, friends, people you respect, strangers, pets, plants, trees, animals, birds, creatures and insects. Before you do this, pray to Lord Varadaraja of Seshambadi and request His blessings for the departed beings you are doing karunya tarpanam for. Then
chant the "neethaar nedungolam" karunya tharpana mantra given above and the name of the person as follows:
"neethaar nedungolam... tharpanamé
Friend
Suresh svadhaa namas tarpayami,
Suresh svadha namas tarpayami,
Suresh svada namas tarpayami".
As you are chanting the mantra, pour water on the sesame seeds (that are in the palm of your hand) slowly while tilting your hand to the right so that the water and sesame seeds fall in the middle of the grid.
Do this 3 times for each person or plant or animal you are doing karunya tharpanam for.
Here too, the water should flow down through the gap between your right thumb and right index finger as shown in the figure above.
9. When your tharpanam is complete, remove the pavitram from your ring finger, unroll it and place it on top of the darbha grass used in the tharpanam.
10. Pray to Lord Narayana and the exalted pitrus and prostrate yourself (full body namaskar) towards the southern direction 12 times.
11. Dispose off the sesame seeds, water and darbha grass used in the ceremony respectfully by depositing them into a flowing river or ocean or a large pond or well. An alternate method is to separate the sesame seeds from the water, pour the water alone at the base of sacred trees and feed the sesame seeds to birds. The important thing here is that the sesame seeds should not sprout. Why? Refer to Sathguru Venkataraman's Siddha writings for the answer.
Clarifications
Tharpanam is done only for departed beings, that is, those who have passed on.
Tharpanam is not done for those who are alive.
If you don't know the name of an ancestor, that is fine. Just state the relationship alone and offer tharpanam for that ancestor.
If you know the gotra lineage of a person, say it just before you mention the relationship, e.g.,
Sri Vatsa Gotra great grandfather Murugan or
Vadhoola Gotra friend Suresh in the examples above.
If you do not know the gotram of the person or you do not know what gotram is, just ignore this step.
For those who wear the sacred thread, change it to your right shoulder at the beginning of the tharpanam ceremony and back to the left shoulder at the end of the ceremony.
There are special mantras for this step.
If you don't wear the sacred thread, ignore this step.
Can one do tharpanam for more than
12 departed ancestors? The answer is yes.
But that is a more advanced procedure and we are not going to cover that here.
There are special mantras for each specific ancestor.
These special mantras will have their special effect for sure.
Consult the Sathguru's books for these special mantras.
Sathguru Venkataraman gave us hundreds of unique tharpanam procedures.
Refer to his Siddha writings for this information.
When to do Tharpanam?
Sathguru Venkataraman said that according to Maha Guru Agasthiar, tharpanam should be done at sunrise.
There is a tradition that says that tharpanam should be done at noon.
If this is your tradition, please do follow that.
Where to do Tharpanam?
You can do tharpanam right in the comfort of your home.
But it is that much more effective to do it in temples and on the banks of sacred rivers.
If you can do tharpanam in the Pitru Moksha temples and sacred spots, that would be the best.
More details in Sathguru Venkataraman's Siddha writings.
Pitru Mukti Sacred Spaces.
Can women do tharpanam?
The answer is YES.
Sathguru Venkataraman gave us the revolutionary idea (in the 1980s) that women can do pitru tharpanam just as well as men.
Think of this key point: If there are no sons in a family, does that mean the ancestors should be starved of tharpanam? The answer is NO. The daughters can certainly do tharpanam.
For a man who had daughters but no sons, will anyone do tharpanam with more mental involvement and dedication than his own daughters? NO. So these daughters can certainly do tharpanam for this (departed) man.
Note further that if others do tharpanam for this (departed) man, it will be karunya tharpanam and not pitru tharpanam. Whereas, if his daughters do it, it will be direct, full fledged pitru tharpanam.
Furthermore, there is the issue of mental involvement and dedication mentioned earlier. Because of this, it is ideal if these daughters do pitru tharpanam for this man (their father).
This does not mean that these daughters should make a big deal out of this and put on a show. That will only cause problems. They should do it quietly with humility and devotion. They should realize that their gotra rishi is watching and so they must do this quietly and with utmost respect, without making a show of it or drawing attention towards themselves. If they do it thus, their gotra rishi will be pleased.
However, in the general case (i.e., where there are both sons and daughters), since women generally have a lot more family responsibilities than men, the males in a family should take the lead and do tharpanam and not let that responsibility fall on womenfolk too.
But if the husband does not do tharpanam, the wife can make up for it by doing tharpanam.
Women who have lost their husbands or who are separated from their husbands can do tharpanam.
Women can do karunya tharpanam for those departed souls who cared for them.
Women should use white sesame seeds in their tharpanam. Why? Refer to Sathguru Venkataraman's Siddha writings for the answer.
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Pitru Mukti Sacred Spaces.
Nedumbala Ancestor Mandala.
Can others do tharpanam for your ancestors?
Click here for some of our articles on tharpanam and related issues.
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